Should you tell a potential partner about your CMT?
The question from A.B.: Now for the first time in a long time a person potentially important to me has entered the picture. If anyone has faced this situation and found a way to deal with it, I would greatly appreciate hearing from you. I don't want (I will not) repeat my past silence. At the same time, I don't know enough to say much without frightening someone. It's sort of one of those damned if you do, damned if you don't scenarios.
I do believe that not being forthcoming is one of the worst things one can do. So, maybe, it's one of those "no pain, no gain" things, as the weightlifters say. If anyone is not ready to accept us for who we are then it's time to keep on looking.

Readers answer:
From Candie Mann in CA, U.S.A.: When I first met my husband, my symptoms were not real obvious. I chose at that time to say nothing. When we decided to get married (six months later), I told him I was "one of Jerry's Kids" and what little I knew 19 years ago (not much at that time). I felt that if he loved me, he would accept whatever possibilities, problems, restrictions and regressions this disease could throw at us. It was the right decision for me. He is my greatest protector!
A.B., in your case, I think you should be up front. If this person is the right one, she will accept you as you are and will be. If not, it would be best to know that now, rather than later. This could save a lot of heartache.

Hello A.B. - When I first started going out with my wife (Spring '88), I explained my disease to her so she'd know why I had a limp. I showed her a copy of the CMT Newsletter as it made more sense than I could. It contained information about the conference in Toronto in 1988. She asked if I was going and I replied that I didn't know...I wasn't planning to go. A couple of weeks later she asked again if I was going. I said I didn't think so. She informed me that I had better go because she was going. I asked why. Her answer was that she wanted to know all she could if she was going to hang around me. We went and enjoyed ourselves greatly. It was a pleasure meeting Linda and the other fine people there.
By all means tell her. We are all getting to the ages where a partner's persona and character are far more important than mere looks or athletic ability. Good luck...mine was great! We married in March 1990 and it has been great.
Michael Robinson, AK, U.S.A.
Because this was on our e-mail A.B. was able to answer Michael:
Right on. I agree with you 100 per cent. You're lucky that you found a good woman. I've found that a small percentage of ladies that I went out with were bothered by my walk and my hands curling up. But fortunately, the majority of them accepted me for who I am.
Barbara Leuzzi in NYC here - A.B. - I would be honest. Tell her the truth. If she really loves you, it won't matter to her. That is how I feel.
Linda here - I met my husband Ron through a small personal ad I placed in the Personals almost 20 years ago. He read the ad, then cut his mother's ½ acre of lawn but remembered the box number and that night wrote a letter suggesting I call him to arrange a date.
I didn't tell him on the phone that I had CMT but I did say I had a disability and didn't walk very well. He replied that his eyesight wasn't very good and that we all had something.
I was very nervous as I threw myself up the curb of the hotel restaurant and then struggled to get into the lobby. When he stood up to greet me, I couldn't believe how tall and handsome he was. We talked over coffee for hours and I told him about my CMT and what could be in store for me but I had no idea that I'd eventually start CMT International or be unable to take a step without a walker.
We've grown together through the years, coping as best we can with my CMT.